The Silent Cry

I

Riya was lying on her bed in an unconscious state. Vikram sat beside her, holding her hand gently. He looked at his wife and then at the doctor. His eye brows were constricted into a furrow and his face wistful.

The doctor enquired, “Does she have any kind of stress?”

“No”, answered Vikram.

“Is she fine?” Vikram asked anxiously.

“Yes, no need to worry. She fainted due to some weakness and fatigue. I have prescribed new medicines. Just try to keep her happy and relaxed” said the doctor, picking up her stuff to depart.

Half an hour later when Riya opened her eyes, she saw Vikram sitting near her. Gently caressing her hair, he said, “From today onwards, you will take complete rest. No need to work in the kitchen. I have asked Amma to arrange a maid to assist in the household chores. Just take care of yourself.”

Then, he got up from the bed, picked up the doctor’s prescription and said, “I will get the medicines for you.” Riya watched him silently as he closed the door behind. Lying on her bed, she tried to relax and catch some sleep. Giddiness and weakness in her body made it hard for her to move.

An hour later Amma, entered the room with a glass of milk in her hands. Waking her up, she said, “It’s time for your medicines.” Riya got up obediently and took the medicines. Amma sat in front of her, with her legs crossed. After asking her how she was feeling, Amma left the room. Before leaving she said, “May you beget a son”.

Riya sighed.

Had Amma blessed her for a safe delivery and a healthy child, she would have felt much relaxed. The news of the arrival of a new member in their family had changed Riya’s life. It was her first child .The entire household was brimming with joy. Vikram had already started reading books on parenting and children psychology. He said, “I want to be a good father to my child”.

However, Amma always longed for a grandson. Daily she went to the temple and prayed for her grandson. One day she came home and tied a thread around Riya’s wrist. She said, “I met a Baba at the temple today. He gave me this thread. With Guru Ji’s blessing, you will surely bear a son.”

Amma’s hopes and expectations often terrified Riya. She wondered what Amma’s reaction would be if it is a girl. However, these fears seemed useless when she thought about her baby. The feeling of having a life inside you, a life which could hear her heart beats and whose presence she could feel inside her, gave her an extreme joy. She was moved to tears when she saw her baby’s posture for the first time in the ultrasound scan. Each day she experienced the joy of motherhood and to her it didn’t matter whether the child was a boy or girl, it was a part of her life.

Finally, the much awaited day arrived. After painful two hours of labour, Riya gave birth to a baby girl. Even in the exhausted and a half conscious state, she was numb with joy. Holding her baby in her arms for the first time, she felt a lifelong attachment to her.

II

The new born brought a season of hope and joy in Vikram and Riya’s life. They named her Ramya. Vikram was elated to hear that it was a girl. The baby looked just like Riya, with black eyes, rosy cheeks, curly hair, small nose, and thin pink lips giving her an angelic look. However, Amma was unhappy. She didn’t look at the girl for two weeks. But Ramya’s innocence and smile enchanted her too, melting away her anger and indifference. Still, she never missed any opportunity to taunt Riya for giving birth to a girl.

Riya was living life all over again as Ramya learnt to crawl, to toddle, and to walk. To her Ramya meant the world. However, destiny had something else planned for her.

For past few weeks, Riya was complaining of a mild fever and difficulty in breathing. Yellow patches had started appearing on her body and sometimes the pain was so severe that it drove her crazy. If she tried to scratch them due to itching, they would bleed. She got thinner with each passing day. Worried at Riya’s ill health, Vikram fixed an appointment with the doctor. The X-Ray of chest showed that Riya was suffering from Lymphoma, a cancer of lymph nodes. Vikram was stoned to the ground when the doctor revealed it to him. Ramya and Riya’s faces loomed over his mind. He wondered how he would disclose this news to Riya. How would she face it? On the way back home, Riya kept nagging him about his discussion with the doctor. Vikram’s vague replies had given her a feeling that something was wrong. Late night when Vikram revealed her the truth, Riya calmly said, “Just take care of our daughter.” She seemed not at all afraid or bothered with the news.

That day onwards, Riya devoted her entire time to Ramya. Though her face was contorted in pain, she daily fed Ramya with a spoon and played with her using as much life as was left inside her. In the meanwhile, Vikram continued with his efforts to take Riya to the best doctors he possibly could. However, Riya withered with each passing day. Sometimes she had severe pain in chest. The doctors said the situation was critical and they should start the chemotherapy. She was hospitalised for 6 months of her chemotherapy session. Before leaving the home, she looked at her daughter lovingly and kissed her on the forehead. Then she gave her hand in Amma’s hand and said, “Please look after her.” With last look at her daughter, she gathered some courage and marched out to face her battle for life.

The chemotherapy however didn’t work well. It made Riya even more fragile, her complexion became pale; finger nails discoloured and she had hair loss. Every time Vikram met her, she asked of Ramya’s well being. Back at home, Ramya’s eyes too searched for her mother everywhere.

One day, Riya said, “I really wish to see Ramya today”. Vikram tried to assure her that soon she would be able to be with Ramya again. But Riya was adamant. Finally, he had to give in. That night, after meeting Ramya, Riya was quite happy and content. In the entire process of fighting lymphoma, she had neither winced nor cried. Vikram gazed at her as she fell asleep. Coming out of the room, he stood by a window in the hospital chambers and wept silently.

Next morning, when the nurse entered the room to give Riya an injection, she found Riya’s body to be listless. She looked for the pulse but couldn’t find it and rushed to call the doctor.

In her sleep, Riya had made a journey into an unknown world, leaving Vikram and Ramya behind.

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